The Socialist Nationalists.
Motto: “Get to the chopper!”
Primary Goals: Safe streets, well-kept parks, good schools, good pensions, ethnic cleansing.
Modus operandi: Posing as civilised social liberals (in cheap suits and ties). Claiming amnesia when confronted by accusations of old ties to the Nazi Party.
Average voter: A 40-year old project manager or accountant named Anders or Erik, married to a high-functioning alcoholic female named Ulrika or Kristina who thinks her husband still votes left/liberal.
Relationship with the media: Once an absolute paria the Social Nationalists are now allowed to finish some of their sentences in 1 out of 3 televised interviews. The hairdressers and make-up artists at The State Television no longer spit in the party representatives' water glasses when they’re not looking – they vote for them.
Biggest political achievement: Forcing several other parties to come out as fascists.
The Original Socialist Nationalist.
Motto: “Your tax-dollars…?”
Primary Goals: Stay in power, appoint party members to high office, fool labourers, daycare workers, waitresses, single moms, assistant nurses, teachers and small business owners that they should pay even more taxes so that illiterates from the Third World can live off the Government dole in Sweden. Forever. Also: ethnic cleansing. But at a moderate pace.
Modus operandi: Lie ruthlessly about everything, deny – stone-faced – that they have changed policies on immigration. (They probably killed a few political opponents too over the years.)
Average voter: A pathological masochist.
Relationship with the media: Yes – many of the Party top brass are related to – or have open/secret sexual relations with the top brass at The State Television, Dagens Nyheter, Expressen, Aftonbladet Channel 4 et al.
Biggest political achievement: Gas-lighting the voters into thinking that Sweden has always been a violent, unpredictable, crime-ridden, clan-based, Arab/Somali gang-land and that semi-racist Facebook posts and uncouth vernacular is the biggest threat to society. That and Donald Trump.
The Children’s Party
Motto: “Age is just a number.”
Primary Goals: The Coronation of Mrs Annie Lööf as Prime Minister.
Modus operandi: Spewing constant nonsense about “decency” and “humanism” while protecting kiddy-fiddlers in their own ranks.
Average voter: A forty-year old woman in academia who actually believes, for real, that Sweden needed to import 10 000 pimply, Bruce Lee-coiffed young men from Kabul and Jalalabad with little to education and no documented job skills – or the Swedish economy would have collapsed.
Relationship with the media: Deteriorating after a number of shocking pedophile scandals. Although they still love Annie’s twaddling rants about “racism”. It generates clicks.
Biggest political achievement: That time when Annie Lööf tried to go toe-to-toe with Jordan B. Peterson in a televised discussion about the gender equality paradox. Fuck, that was painful to watch…
The Religious Nuts.
Motto: “Let the little, blond, caucasian, upper middle-class children come to me.”
Primary Goals: Ridding Sweden of The Religion of Peace. You know the one.
Modus operandi: Pretending to be liberal, almost secular, while praying, privately, for the gay to go away. And for the Monkey Pox to – finally – administer God’s will.
Average voter: Prudish male conservative incels with detailed fantasies about sodomizing Ebba and having her snowball cum with Sara Skyttedal. Also: ditzy, blond instagram-influencers who recently discovered “politics”.
Relationship with the media: Female journalists – especially the ugly ones on the left, with large glasses and lesbian haircuts – tend to envy Ebba Bush’s good looks. So like petty eight-graders they take every chance they get to stab her in the back and talk shit about what a fascist little bimbo she is.
Biggest political achievement: Convincing people that a party named The Christ Democrats (yep, that’s their real name) aren’t really about religion. At all. It’s just a name. Like The Islamic Front or The John Birch Society. Or Bon Jovi.
continued in part 2
Kommentarer till artiklar förhandsgranskas inte av redaktionen och är inte att betrakta som redaktionellt material. Du är själv juridiskt ansvarig för det du skriver i kommentarsfältet (i.e don’t write anything nasty, racist or potentially libelous in the commentaries.)
"The Children's Party". :-)
You nailed it, Jens!